Things have been rather crazy lately. Insecurities. Emotional breakdowns. Doctor appointments. Fear that I have completely failed at life. Realizing that my "guy picking" skills are unparalleled to anyone I have ever met. It never fails though...I have a 20 minute conversation with a dear friend and I'm completely grounded again and reminded that I should "let go and let GOD." I'm reminded that I am completely selfish and I have NO idea how exactly good I have it right now. It drives me insane that I can't see it but others can. When did I get all wrapped up and into me? I guess that's just a flaw in everyone.
I've decided that I need help working through my insecurities. I've been trying to fix them for a while. Yes, I have worked through a few and they are better. I'm such a stronger person than I was 6 months, 12 months, 24 months ago. But, I know that I can be better. I can be more confident in things that I do. I can't keep letting these things keep me from becoming who I want to be and who I deserve to be. I'm SO tired of being knocked down. I won't stand for it anymore. I need to find my ground and stand firmly on it. I have to face the demons of my past and knock them down. I have to learn to let go of things. I have to learn to process it all. I have to stop wearing my feelings on my sleeve.
I am looking forward to start my "counseling" and to see where it brings me.
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