good days/bad days

The last few days and weeks have been rather interesting for me. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride that I can't get off of. God is trying so hard to teach me patience. I wish I could learn RIGHT NOW to be patient and listen to Him. But, I don't do patient. I never have. I'm trying, though. I really, really am.

My appetite is finally back. These last few weeks I went from eating normally to barely eating anything at all. I worked myself back up to eating half meals and now, this weekend, I've finally started eating full meals again. I had myself all worked up into some insane tizzy and such a state of anxiousness, that I couldn't eat. The thought of food made me sick to my stomach. My sleep is getting better. I've been able to sleep without my white noise app the last week or so. It's funny how when something happens, it turns your entire life upside down. It's not been just one thing that's done it this time. It's been everything. Here we are like...9 weeks into the new year and sometimes I wonder how much more I can take. But I know that things get harder before they get better. I know that I will be okay before too long. Woulda, coulda, shoulda...hindsight is always 20/20.

I have good days and I have bad days. It's always funny to me how I can be doing just fine one minute and the next, something happens and it knocks me down. Overwhelms me to the point that I just want to cry hysterically for a few minutes and then I pick up and move on. Then, I sit there and laugh at myself because of what just happened.

If I've learned anything over the last few weeks, it's been that I have some truly amazing friends and I am SO thankful for them.