Sunday, April 15, 2012

welcome to the south, yall.



I saw that and knew exactly what I needed to write about.

I used to hate living in Mississippi. I'll be honest. I would wonder what I did to get stuck in this hell hole. And if I'm being really honest, sometimes I still wonder that. Mostly because of the town I live in and the pressure people put on you to get married and have babies. But yeah, I used to hate this place. I'm not sure what exactly changed my mind about liking it. Slowly over the years, I've grown to like this place and it's now where I call home. It's too hard to explain to people that I was born in Germany because dad was in the Army and I lived on a gated Army base for the first 7 years of my life....because then I get asked if I have a green card and I have to be ugly to people. So I just say that I am from Mississippi and if I'm out of town, people start talking to me slow. But now, I couldn't imagine living anywhere but the south. I love the slow pace. When I go out of town, I'm usually wanting to come back by day 3. I miss this place when I'm somewhere other than the south. And with that being said, if I ever leave Mississippi, it'll be for Nashville. Seriously, yall.

No truer words have been spoken about the south than what was said in the picture above. Especially about summer starting in April (it normally runs until October). This year, summer started in March. After a long hot summer last year, we had approximately 5 weeks of winter. No joke. It snowed Thanksgiving weekend and was chilly in December. January rolled around and spring was here by the time I got back from Vegas. I mean, we did see days where it'd be about 40 for the high and people broke out their marshmallow winter jackets but then the next day was bright and sunny and 60 again. Then March came. March is such an interesting month for us. You never know what will happen and by that I mean one thing: Tornadoes. Normally, March and April battle it out for the stormiest month of the year. Last year, March and April were pretty stormy but April won that battle. So this year, I was half expecting tornadoes all month. Instead, it was the warmest month on record. And we actually had to the turn the air on for about a week. And now, here we are halfway through April and my heat rash has already started. For those who aren't aware, I have a lot of allergies. Apparently the sun and heat are one of them. I'm not real sure. All I know is that this sucks. My dermatologist just tells me to stay inside as much as possible and normally, I can do that. In the "actual" summer, I can walk to my car or the mail box and get a sunburn and break out in heat rash. But it's April for crying out loud! I shouldn't be worried about getting heat rash in freaking April! I mean, wtf?! I need to go buy stock in sun screen now. It's going to be a long, hot summer. And unless you know what it's like to spend a hot Saturday in the delta of Mississippi, I don't want to hear about hot. The temperature may say 95 but once you add in the humidity and all that mess, it's really about 115. We have an oppressive heat. The kind that sucks the breath out of you when you walk outside. Some friends of mine actually baked cookies in their car last August. Not even lying.

Welcome to the south, yall.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Everything is different

I really need to get back in the habit of writing. I always feel better after I write.

Lent is over. Most of you may know that I gave up complaining and bitterness to get me in a better place in life. I stumbled across a quote last week that speaks volumes of my life right now:

"It's funny how day by day, nothing changes. But when you look back, everything is different."

EVERYTHING is different. Everything is different for the better. Change is never easy. I felt like I had to tear myself apart to put me back together again. And, I have to say, I have never been happier. I honestly didn't think it would work. When I was challenged to do this, I said yes but didn't think it'd be done this quickly. Don't get me wrong, everyday is still a battle. Sometimes, it's worse than others. But, I choose to get out of bed everyday and face the world. I can't keep hiding from some crazy fear that was partly made up in my head. That's insane to keep living like that. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and build your wings on the way down. I really hope this is all making sense. I can sit here and explain it all day long but I can't make people understand it. At least it all makes sense to me, because at this point, that's all that matters anymore.

From this point forward, I'm going to take everything with a grain of salt and keep on keeping on. While I do value peoples opinions, most of the time, I don't ask for them. I have to live my own life. Make my own mistakes. I'm my own hero. I have great parents and a great sister. So for right now, all I need is a friend. Someone who will sit here and listen to me and be happy for me. That's all I'm asking. Just be a friend. Don't judge. Don't hate. Don't say mean things to me or about me. Just love me for me. And remember that I'm not beautiful like you...I'm beautiful like me.

Also? I'd like to share this and challenge yall to it. It's pretty much what I did for Lent.


http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/