perspective.

It's always funny how little things pop up in life and show you things aren't so bad after all. The bible verse above was sent to me last night by a good friend. It makes me stop and think "Is this how people see me and think of me?" After all, she said when she saw it, she immediately thought of me. The more I think about this, the more it snowballs for me. I have been wallowing in such self pity lately that it's straight up ridiculous. What she should have send me was something along the lines of "Hey crazy, it's called life, suck it up." But she didn't. Instead, she chose something uplifting and positive. Every now and then, we all need that kick in the ass. I doubt I am anywhere close to being that bible verse let along being a "Proverbs 31 woman". I am humbled that someone who has seen me complain SO MUCH lately, would see that and immediately think of me. It reminds me that I need to reprioritize life again. Things like being "Negative Nancy", wallowing and complaining all need to go. I gave it up once so why in the hell did I start back? Life is too short for that. I have to stop with these pity parties, because afterall, I like my parties with cake and ice cream. I think C.S. Lewis sait it best:

 

"There are far, far better thinks ahead than any we leave behind."

 

I need to burn that in my brain. Tattoo it on my forehead. Write it down and stick it EVERYWHERE so I read it multiple times a day and BELIEVE IT. Greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done. This isn't the end of the world. This too shall pass. It's just life. It's just another chapter in my book. God is starting the next one.

 

Perspective. Now I have it.

well, well, well

It appears I have fallen off the blog wagon again. I really intended to start off the new year writing more on here but then life happened. Vegas. Moving the office. Spending 5 days in bed due to a horrible case of the flu. That was just in January. We won't even get into how my gallbladder decided it was going to just up and quit on me and the surgery I had in March to have it evicted. And 3 weeks after that, we went on vacation back home to Canada to see my grandparents and my grandmother became very ill and passed away while we were there. It was rough. SOMEONE HOLD ME. One of my favorite old sayings has proven very true over the last two years "nothing happens and nothing happens and then EVERYTHING happens." I had years of nothing happening and then these last two years has been jammed packed. Yall. This life business ain't no joke.

I'm having one of those moments weeks with another one of my favorite quotes. "It's funny how day by day nothing changes. But, when you look back, everything is different." I hate when the past comes back to visit. It's not easy. Especially when you think you are doing really well and then you hear something and BOOM, it rocks your world. We're talking...shakes you to your absolute core. Thankfully I have been house sitting for the last week because I need time to process it and fall apart and be angry and cry buckets full of tears. I was a complete mess until late Tuesday night. I was pretty sure I had lost my damn mind and was gold star certified crazy and now, I have some kind of strange peace. I still get a little teary now and then but for the most part, I'm doing much better now. I hate when things like this catch me off guard. I just have to take time and grieve over what I need to and put it in the past. I have to remember to let the past make me better, not bitter. And that's where the above quote walks right in. Compared to where I was and who I was 2 years ago, my life is SO MUCH BETTER now. I can't even begin to describe how I have changed in that time, especially in the last 18 months. I'm going to be OKAY. I mean...I always am. I'm thankful for my great friends that are so supportive of me and my crazy.

I promise to try and start writing more!